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Everything Burns: Home
13/01/10 || GardensTale
And here we go again, getting hit by the gravy train that is atrocious metalcore! Horrible, whiny vocals that make me want to cut my own cock off and stuff it up my eyesockets? Check! ‘Emotional’ lyrics a twelve year old couldn’t find sincere if you fed him acid? Check! Messy, shitty, generic guitars? Check! Triggered drums? Oh yes. And there’s so much more! Acoustic interludes to enhance the emotion, because everyone knows anything acoustic is more emotional! Screamo vocals beside the horrifying clean ones that are almost just as shit!
And what’s up with the sheer amount of singing? These guys have even more whiny vocals than any other of their twelve gazillion peers, they just don’t fucken stop singing! Guys, we already know your music is as generic as it fucken gets, don’t try and cover it all up with fucktons of your godawful whining, that’s like camouflaging shit with diarrhea!
I swear all this metalcore and scream and fucken crabcore which isn’t even a fucken genre is all really just made by like ten guys who all live in the same goddamn town which is so fucken remote (probably Alaska, the only good thing from that place is Palin’s rack) the only thing the stores have in stock with electric guitars is “St. Anger”. It all sounds the same, it all sounds absolutely fucken atrocious, and I sincerely hope these ten guys get together in a bus and the bus is accidentally strapped to a nuclear fucken bomb and dropped on the town these record companies call their home base and use as a place to wallow in their fucken money.
I could keep on going in very sincere attempts trying to rip these guys some more holes, but I’m fucken fed up with this shit. Everything Burns are another clone cashing in on the screametalcrabcoremo fad that somehow seems to endure against all odds. Why these labels enjoy this regurgitated crap is beyond me, but here we are, and Global Domination is another 1 richer.
- Information
- Released: 2009
- Label: Rising Records
- Website: Everything Burns MySpace
- Band
- Tim Kellow (Kelloggs?): vocals
- Chinn Lawlor (Chin Lawyer? wtf?): guitars
- Vince Finch: guitars, vocals
- Phil W. Charles (more like Phail, am I right?): bass
- Jez Marshall (what Jazz?): drums
- Tracklist
- Couldn’t find one and if you want to listen to this beyond a horrified laugh at their MySpace, fuck off from this site!
